It’s not about the fabulous book by Dale Carnegie called ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ although if you’re in the mood for a great book, I would most definitely recommend it. I used this title because it suits this topic immensely.
You will not believe how incredibly simple these 10 steps are, with this wonderful Ted Talk from Celeste Headlee where she gives us 10 ways to have a better conversation. It sounds simple right?
I promise you that if you can find a spare 11 minutes to listen to this inspiring talk, and practice only one of these steps your life will change in ways you never thought possible. Imagine what can happen if you practice all 10 of them? I learnt many of these techniques from a very old friend who knew these secrets and practiced them every day without even trying. Because it was her nature, and she just loved to listen to other people’s stories. She was constantly asking them more and more about themselves and their lives and their life lessons. She rarely spoke about herself. I watched her closely in our younger years and it soon became evident that she was unknowingly practicing almost all of these ten steps on a daily basis. And she was constantly surrounded by interesting people, they were demanding her friendship and they loved the influence she had upon them. This stuff works, and I know it does because I’ve seen it with my own eyes, and watched carefully the difference it makes when I practice it myself.
I’ve listened to this short video three times now, and it’s quite amazing how much you can identify with, especially when it comes to the things you should not be doing. For example, how often is it that you are having a conversation with someone and they are telling a story… and while you are supposed to be listening intently to the story, you’ve already culminated a similar story in your mind where a similar scenario happened to you. And while they are talking, all you can do is think about your story and when you’ll have a chance to slip it into the conversation? I’ve done it myself and I watch people doing it constantly without even realising they are doing it. NOT COOL :))
One of my favourite quotes in this talk is ‘You need to enter every conversation assuming you have something to learn’. There are many others but this one in particular, to me, is so profound.
Enjoy the talk, and I would love to hear your feedback and comments about it.